Marie PhD
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Rape

8/25/2012

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This painting is of the rape of Lucretia. As a result of the rape, Lucretia commits suicide and it lead to the downfall of the Roman monarchy and the rise of the Roman empire where they changed the law so that rape was punishable by death and had no statute of limitations. The reason was, Romans felt they should be stoic and the men should be able to control themselves and not let their animal/sexual urges get the better of them.

So from the rape of a noble women, the roman monarchy fell and the roman empire was born which frowned upon rape and encouraged self-control of the men.

After Christianity was introduced, rape became acceptable again because 'the woman was really asking for it', Rome did fall.

If only we would pay attention to history.

It seems to me that there is NO coincidence that Muslims are fleeing their countries where women are totally without rights. You take away a woman's right to say 'no', her rights to control her own destiny, and her rights to property, then you are on a route to crashing your society.

And this is where the US is heading with taking away women's rights to a safe abortion, and her right to say no to sex. Men, and some women are using hard won rights, in the US are battling constantly to take away women's rights, by saying things as stupid as 'being falsely accused of rape is as bad as being raped'. Really? being used against your will, either drugged with a date rape drug or alcohol or 'legitimately' as Akin would call it is the same as being falsely accused of rape, I don't think so. Then Republicans would say 'if (rape) is inevitable, then relax and enjoy it'. Then women who decide to keep the resulting baby, despite what Akin says, may have to endure the rapist father demanding access to the child.

I sometimes think men think women are just like them, that we are always willing and ready for sex. Actually, no we don't think about sex nearly as often as men do, and even this conservative study says women think about sex half as often as men do. And I know I've consented to sex with a man who was so awful at it, I couldn't wait for the whole experience to be over. No he didn't hurt me, he just wasn't good. Most women have stories of sex with men that were so bad because their partner was gross, inconsiderate or inappropriate. I am the last person in the world to say what people should or shouldn't do in their bedrooms if it is discussed, consenting and people are sensitive to each others needs.

What this taught me is to be very careful about who I say yes too. But for some reason men would argue that they were so good that once we've had sex we always want it. Wrong. Most men are awful in bed and women learn to fake an orgasm pretty quickly. Young men are often especially bad.

Men must control themselves, this is key to building a better society.

Then there are morons who think that "If God has chosen to bless this person [the rape victim] with a life, you don’t kill it." This is assuming that God does any blessing at all. This whole thing about babies being miracles is rubbish. It may be a miracle for parents who want children, but to me if a baby was truly a miracle, god would turn up and hand deliver the baby to the parents instead of the woman having to endure the ordeal of child birth, which is extremely dangerous to both the mother and the child, and the mortality from both is on the rise in the US despite so many people advocating to get rid of abortion.

Then there are those 'christians' who say 'you don't punish the son for the sins of the father'. Yet ignore the punishment of the women having to endure the pregnancy. She is being punished at least twice, with the rape and then the ordeal of putting up with the pregnancy. Some say pregnancy is not a punishment, but it is if you don't want to be pregnant. Pregnancy is debilitating, it can make you sick with diabetes, morning sickness and you can't move around easily. You are admonished not to drink alcohol and take drugs. Plus then you are saddled with whether to raise the baby yourself or adopt it out and if you choose to adopt it out, no doubt many women will be worrying about the child for the rest of their lives. All this can effect, if not destroy, the rest of a woman's life.

Pregnancy is the result of biology. Like we eat and drink, there is waste. Hair grows because of biology, cancers grow because biology goes wrong. Fetus' biology is faulty and the pregnancy results in miscarriage. There is nothing magical about this, that doesn't happen to cats and dogs and every other living creature everyday. Yet human fetus' lives seem to have this paramount importance even over the life of the mother.

And as much as men try to ignore the impact of women on their lives, women can turn men's lives upside down, ask any man whose gotten a divorce. You would prefer to ignore us but you notice us as soon as we walk in the room. This the reason Muslim women have to wear burqa's to protect the men from themselves. Is it any wonder people flee Islamic countries, women have no rights and men are not taught to control themselves?

Women are not a wedge issue to be ignored. How women are treated impacts everyone in that society and tells you exactly how good that society is. With the introduction of abortion, crime rates fell in the next 18 years. Its no wonder that western countries are better places to live. The west have the best governments (although there is always room for improvement) because they ensure the best treatment of women. As women's rights have improved in the west, society has become better. Women's right to chose their own partners gave rise to social mobility.

Men who think men are badly treated in the west should consider moving to Afghanistan, where they, like women, will have few rights.

At this point I'd like to thank all men who support women's rights, we need you more than ever. Because I think we don't stop the GOP diminishing the rights of women, this is where the US is heading. Do we really want to turn the US into the christian version of Saudi Arabia or Afghanistan?

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Future Fear

8/19/2012

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We all saw movies when we were growing up where the computer suddenly developed intelligence and immediately went on to destroy the world. But now we are inundated with technology, the internet and silicon chips in everything from fridges to our cars.

If you have kids but no computer in the house your kids will be at a disadvantage. If you aren't on the internet or have a presence on the internet you probably won't be able to get a job because employees will probably look you up on the internet.

We have had some very frightening events occur in the past century. The development of so much new technology, from the changing face of warfare to technology in our homes, medicine and the rights of those who previously had few or none. But even more subtle, the change of the millennium, where tech heads were warning of the breakdown of all computers because of the Y2K problem, amongst the usual fearsome bunch of religious nuts, where another year is just another excuse for another apocalypse that won't happen.  For 1000 years, we've been 1x00, now we are 20xx. Its enough to scare the hell out of those of us who are most afraid. I know they are just numbers, but some people even have an irrational fear of numbers and some even brag about being incompetent at math to their friends.

I think we are seeing a massive backlash in women's rights, education, and science because those of who want a supernatural way of accounting for our existence, "christians"1 are clutching at their Bibles because of those who are afraid to think and what it might lead too. I think the racism exhibited towards President Obama is a result of irrational fear of things changing so much, the rights of women being able to determine their lives, and science is the main culprit. "Christians" are imposing their version of reality upon government.

Because we've had massive shocks to the psyche lately I think people are casting around in desperation for some of the certainties and irrational-isms from their childhood.

While I am not fearful of this being an ongoing trend because many "christians" are embracing all this new technology and the internet. Some people are clinging to their hatreds and as a substitute for the fear of having their worlds turned upside-down by these shocks. But social dynamics are changing too. People of both sides of the debate are connecting with each other. Commonly in shouting matches, but they are exchanging ideas and hopefully they will come to see some of each others thoughts.

1. "Christians" are those who loudly proclaim their righteousness rather than actually being christian.

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communication skills

8/16/2012

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I seldom fight with my husband so imagine my surprise when I laughed about this song and my husband called me bitter. I was like 'huh???!' I said, the girl had probably been waiting for some communication from the guy but he'd been all stoic about keeping all his feelings to himself. She probably spent hours on the phone to her friends asking them, 'why doesn't he speak to me any more?' and they all offer all kinds of puzzled replies. He probably tipped his hat at her and to him meant he was madly in love with her but was no longer able to speak to her because he was too in love. Meanwhile she ponders what the hat tip meant. Her friends by now are getting sick of her puzzlement, because, heck, they've had sex, in the above song, and he seemed really into her.

Eventually her friends advise her to move on because it hurts them listening to her cry and they can't explain the situation either. Disappointingly she moves on, realizing what she thought had been going on wasn't really going on at all. So she goes out again and meets someone else. She still carries a soft spot for him so she goes over to him... and says hey before she leaves with someone else.

Then the guy has a melt-down, in the song and paints the poor girl out to be a villain. And my husband calls me bitter while I am laughing about the stupidity of the situation.

Finally, we are watching Babylon 5, a definite favorite of my husband, and Garibaldi sees his ex- on Mars and he's hoping to get back with her, I think, and she's married someone else. I said to my husband: see?!?!? He saw what I meant then. Of course my husband tries to justify Garibaldi but its the same old story.

As you see, its a very common phenomena, as it happens in 'flame trees' and for the guy who put this youtube vid together for Vicky. I know its happened to me, but I am not bitter, I just moved on. I've thought I'd gotten on really well with a guy and then he suddenly stops talking to me. I move on and years later the next thing I know he's on my door step wanting me to know if we can get back together. I scratch my head and ask why didn't he call like 5 years ago. He looks pale and I say I've moved on.

Guys get your act together. If you like someone, FFS, tell her or sooner or later she will move on.

Jane Austen even knew this, but she would have people intercede on the lover's behalf. In Pride & Prejudice, she had lady catherine de burgh communicating on behalf of Lizzy and Darcy. Lizzy and Darcy interceded for Jane & Bingley. Only Charlotte was able to act on her own behalf cos she didn't love Mr Collins, not like Mary did.

Check out these pointers to simplify your life.
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Merit

8/15/2012

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My husband works as a tutor for some of the wealthier areas in the south bay area but recently he was fired because he gave his students a test on material they had not seen before. The students, despite being reassured the grade would not count, but merely a means of determining what material should be covered in class; were sufficiently dismayed by the experience that they had my husband sacked.

I was aghast! If I don't get an 'A' on every single thing, I'll have you sacked? That's completely appalling. But in light of David Brookes Op-Ed piece in the New York TImes on July 12 2012 where he said our elites stink, I am seeing an abhorrent system being set in place.

Some of the most valuable lessons I learned when growing up was a) how to fail, b) that I am often wrong and c) critical thinking.

Failing is not pleasant but its what you do with it that's valuable. As a successful scientist, I've tried dozens of experiments, as a programmer I've tried millions of experiments. Most fail. You learn to give up only when you've exhausted all hope of it working. With code, it will always work, you just need to find the way to make it work.

Being wrong is also unpleasant and knowing you are wrong is great because it allows you to figure out where you were wrong and learn something better.

And you can't learn from being wrong and failing unless you have critical thinking.

Education makes you happy. But I can't help but wonder what education the elites of silicon valley are giving their kids if their kids are so coddled. Sure, there is no doubt these kids are going to go to Stanford or Harvard or where ever they choose, but its very unlikely they'll be either good scientists or intellectuals. Being either requires knowing there's a slap down waiting if you happen to fail and being wrong gives, so it prepares you to makes sure you are 100% right when you say something. How can you learn the humiliation of failing and being wrong even in a safe environment when being assured your test results do not count? So these coddled future elite will stick to banalities and the same old drivel everyone has said before when their times to take center stage.


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As I said, I read the op-ed piece by David Brooks "why our elites stink". But I am not sure what the alternative is to a merit based system except to broaden the qualification of 'elite' to include attributes of selflessness when you have never learned the humiliation of failing and being wrong even in a safe environment. But it seems that Ayn Rand is in full ascendancy at the moment, and I do not believe it is doing anyone any good.

"The main problem of a "merit-based" society is when merit is DEFINED as money -- the only measure of merit becomes how much money you can make, and any method you use to get it is fair game (assuming you are clever enough not to get caught). The flipside of this then becomes that anyone who is not rich, is simply "not as good" -- they are considered to be not as smart, hardworking, or worthy, as evidenced by the fact that they're not drowning in Scrooge-McDuck-esque money bins. Once the belief that "rich people are simply better" sets in, predatory practices are easily rationalized -- after all, the poor aren't even really *human* under this logic, just a resource to extract labor and/or money from when possible."

The corollary is that poverty is a choice! I can so imagine waking up one morning saying: wouldn't it be cool to be poor, NOT! Clearly the education system failed him as we can see from the abundance of misspelled words. Whereas I hear so many moaning about how cool it would be to be poor in the US. It is not cool to be poor anywhere, especially in the US where there are no safety nets.

Education is failing America and mostly because the rich want to privatize education for the sake of eliminating the expense of paying for schools. Education should be a right, not a luxury and the problem with this luxury is that the kids aren't learning the lessons that will make them great people, those of failing, being wrong and how to think.

Before you go moaning about education not being in the constitution, wonder about what it'll cost the US if our kids aren't educated. Our kids are our future and saving you a few pennies is penny wise, future foolish.


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    I am interested in progressive politics, women's rights, science & art. I believe the only way we'll survive is if we help each other.

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