Sometimes I am surprised how much sexism I experience on Facebook. Just now some guy spammed me and then when I didn't reply for 5minutes - yes 5 whole minutes (he told me it was 5 minutes) - he started ranting at me about how 'rough, capricious and arrogant' I was because - yes - I didn't drop everything and attend to his desire to chat with him so he deleted me as a friend.
But what he meant by friend came with a whole bunch of romantic photos of kissing the back of her hand and photos of couples kissing and hugging... so he went from courtship to spewing insults within 5 minutes.
Other men who friend me decide that I have nothing better to do than drop everything and chat to them.
Some men are prepared to put the work in to charm me - and that is wonderful - I love making new friends - so long as they are prepared to wait for the long turn around time for me to answer them - sometimes.
But what is distressing is my male friends never get these kinds of demands made of them from pretty much strangers.
No one ever demands they drop everything so someone can talk to them. No one gets hysterical and calls them names if they haven't responded in 5 mins. No one calls them names like 'c*nt' because they don't like their post. I am sure they get plenty of push back from some people in public but it's not in private where the world cannot see what is being demanded of them.
The flip side of this is women - I am a deeply committed feminist - too often take offense because I may have appeared too flippant in a response - women I barely know - who I hadn't meant to say anything offensive to them will turn around and block me... Men who might have made similar comments may have been ignored.
People expect a lot from women emotionally - and it can be difficult and draining to keep up with all the emotions. It seems men don't have such demands made of them.
But what he meant by friend came with a whole bunch of romantic photos of kissing the back of her hand and photos of couples kissing and hugging... so he went from courtship to spewing insults within 5 minutes.
Other men who friend me decide that I have nothing better to do than drop everything and chat to them.
Some men are prepared to put the work in to charm me - and that is wonderful - I love making new friends - so long as they are prepared to wait for the long turn around time for me to answer them - sometimes.
But what is distressing is my male friends never get these kinds of demands made of them from pretty much strangers.
No one ever demands they drop everything so someone can talk to them. No one gets hysterical and calls them names if they haven't responded in 5 mins. No one calls them names like 'c*nt' because they don't like their post. I am sure they get plenty of push back from some people in public but it's not in private where the world cannot see what is being demanded of them.
The flip side of this is women - I am a deeply committed feminist - too often take offense because I may have appeared too flippant in a response - women I barely know - who I hadn't meant to say anything offensive to them will turn around and block me... Men who might have made similar comments may have been ignored.
People expect a lot from women emotionally - and it can be difficult and draining to keep up with all the emotions. It seems men don't have such demands made of them.
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