Apparently hunter-gatherer societies, by far a larger portion of our genetic history, had gender equality. It wasn't until humans became agricultural did society become so hierarchical. While men were out hunting game, women remained at tribal headquarters caring for the elderly, the very young, the sick and each other while gathering roots and berries in case the men were unsuccessful during their hunt or to supplement the tribe's diet. This explains why women are better at multitasking and communicating. Women may form cliques but they are really forming equalities. They treat each other as equals as they care for those who can't care for themselves and perform their other tasks.
Boys on the hunt must be old enough to be aware of how dangerous the activity is that they are engaged in, to be strong enough to do battle, and to be self aware enough to not get in the way, be able to think for themselves and coordinate with the others also engaged in this dangerous activity. When the men return from the hunt their hierarchies dissolve into the equalities they have formed with partners and the tribal community, as men do with their wives, in our society, with what some people call women led relationships.
I think marriage is about negotiating best solutions, two minds are better than one, and finding the optimal solution for problems/issues facing the couple. In other words, neither is in complete control, both trust each other to make the right decisions independently as necessary. I think it's foolish to think men or women know what is best all of the time.
However our society has become very hierarchical. Men organize amongst themselves who has the most power and then women have to negotiate with the men in that hierarchy how much power they have. If the women don't go out of their way to seize as much power straight away they will be pushed to the bottom of the hierarchy. (Years of personal experience working with males in male dominated fields.)
Women do not learn how to seize power given they are lavished with attention when they are young and this disempowers them later in life when they don't get as much attention as men lose interest in them because either the women are married and not available or available men are looking for younger partners.
This is a serious problem with hierarchies, being at the bottom of it, such as this white supremacist website claims they are. If you are at the bottom you must fight to raise your status and that means pushing those with less power down below you. You must be superior to someone else at all costs. (We might call this behavior bullying.)
Hence there is an implied violence with hierarchies as people continually seek as much power as possible to gain higher and higher positions on the totem pole. If you are at the bottom of the hierarchy you will be used as a whipping 'boy' and used as target practice by people above you to gain ranks. You commonly see this phenomena in established hierarchies. In a male dominated facebook group I was on, I protested about a post as being sexist, and male after male told me that the post wasn't sexist. I was assured it wasn't homophobic - which it had passed a test by a gay male, but it didn't pass my test as being sexist. Yet male after male told me I was wrong. Each man told me I was wrong and signaled to the other men in the hierarchy they were following suit and towing the line, important when hunting on the Serengeti, and a form of coordination amongst them to maintain the status quo and ensured I was definitely at the bottom of the heap. If I had rather agreed with them it likely would not have increased my status or position in the hierarchy though, because I was an unknown woman.
Many cultures have coming of age ceremonies, where the individuals prove to themselves their adulthood, especially boys. When girls come of age they become debutantes or in the US they have prom parties or something is done to them or happens to them which implies their coming of age, and in some cultures this is female genital mutilation. Women tend to define themselves by how much attention they receive. Again this is thrust upon them rather than them achieving something or doing something to mark their coming of age.
But with boy's coming of age in tribal societies most we would consider to be inhumane in our society. But I think boys still feel the need to prove themselves to themselves and other men for their place in the hierarchy because men tend to define themselves by what they do.
No doubt Dylann Roof has proven he is no longer at the bottom of the heap. He has had his rite of passage and he is being praised for his actions by some and associates with the powerful and powerful symbols. We are fortunate that not all young men feel the need to prove their coming of age as Dylann Roof did but it is common for boys that age to act aggressively to women, or others normally low in the hierarchy. This is possibly when we excuse their bad behavior as 'boys being boys'. (I rather suspect the men most inclined to need to prove themselves come from abusive homes.)
We must start learning to treat each other as equals. In another group, I questioned a woman who used the phrase "less than white" in relation to people of color. She didn't understand why I had an issue with her saying that until I said "how do you feel about being treated as being less than someone else". This of course alarmed her, she could not stand the idea of being treated as being less than someone else but could not relate to the idea of other people not liking being considered less than someone else. It was clear to me this woman had adopted the hierarchical structure and was clearly maintaining her position in the hierarchy.
We must stop thinking of needing people to be less than us to maintain our power. We must think of each other as equals, different but equals, because while we think of needing to prove our power we must find someone to be less powerful than us to push down to make us rise up and it is implied violence. When we are all equals then no one has to push anyone down. We must change the way we view other people or we will destroy ourselves and the planet, because the quest for money is nothing other than the quest for power, it produces the unaccountability of those at the top of the hierarchy as they do more and more to teach us we are less powerful than them because we are disposable to them.
There is no real community without equality. Because we must accept we each need each other to survive and this gives us our value, that we need others and as much as they need us. Hierarchies teach us: I don't need you because you are less important than me, that the only people worth considering are those above me in the hierarchy.