Marie PhD
  • Home
  • Politics
  • #OccupyCongress
  • Overview
  • Domestic Violence
  • Food

Fun

4/10/2014

0 Comments

 
Picture

On one of the groups I belong to on facebook someone posted the question, 'Why are people jerks to each other?'
I replied 'i wish i knew' but I lied, I know why.

We need each other. But needing someone makes us vulnerable and we hate to be vulnerable. So we pretend we don't care. Its a show of strength.
Of course that's the explanation I wish was true because most of the time we don't see other people as human at all.

Last night I was scrolling through my facebook 'home' page and some group I belong to, although I suspect I have been thrown out, posted a photo of this woman who'd had botox done to her lips, and this group of women were making jokes about her. Seriously, I am sick to death of people laughing about other people who are doing nothing to hurt anyone but themselves. I called them on it and one retorted, we're only having fun. That is fun? People having fun because people are made to feel constantly inadequate so they are driven to do painful things to themselves? It reminded me of this story. Fortunately the woman is well adjusted enough to cope with being the butt of so many jokes. But what if it happens to a vulnerable teen? Or adult? For some reason we associate bullying only with kids and teens, but society finds it acceptable to bully adults too, including and especially women. Women make easy targets, because people seldom go to their defence and often other women join in on the fun.

To the woman who retorted we were only having fun, I said she was an ugly person.

Do not have fun at other people's expense, it is cruel and says more about you as a human being than the person you are making fun of. People who are not hurting anyone, people who obviously have self worth issues, people who cannot defend themselves, why do people attack them? It is cruel.

No I have no issue with people having fun with each other although what we think is gentle ribbing other people may see has hurtful of their feelings. And sometimes people are too sensitive.

Why not attack GOP politicians who think they need to control women instead, or the heir to the Du Pont who rapes his little three year old daughter and gets out of jail time because he supposedly won't do well in jail. These are people who desperately need to be taken down a notch or two.

All I can say is be kind as much as possible. Aim your laughter at the people who deserve it. Not those who are hurting no one but themselves.


















0 Comments

Sex

4/9/2014

0 Comments

 
Picture
"Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power." according to Oscar Wilde.

I repeat myself, but what two consenting and willing adults do in the privacy of their bedroom is no one's business but their own assuming no one will be permanently damaged by what passes between them.

No one asks to be raped.

And it requires you to be fully conscious and able  to say NO if you don't want sex. If you are drunk or drugged with date rape drugs, then it is still rape even though it may be without signs of struggle.

I've heard women say they've heard women say they accused men of rape when the man hadn't raped them at all. But I don't know why any woman would put themselves through such an ordeal for the sake of hurting a man.

First the woman must subject herself to getting a rape kit done, DNA samples are taken from either the anus or vagina or where ever the man penetrated with witnesses to make sure you aren't making it up, photos are taken, and then it comes to he said, she said. Her sex history is taken into account, if they'd previously been lovers... she is put on trial first before the man and then what if you were raped and he gets away with it, because after all trials are pretty much coin flips, especially cases for rape and with most women siding with the rapist, the woman has a better than average chance of losing and in some cases may even face charges herself for falsely accusing someone of rape. In my opinion, I doubt there are any false rape claims or more like 1 in a million... The disadvantages of falsely accusing rape far out-weigh the benefits. And even if the rapist is successfully convicted the penalty may be appallingly light. In the case of this 14 year old girl, the judge gave the 49 year old guy 31 days. 31 days!

What I think is abundantly more likely is most rapes go unreported.

But I suspect men want to focus on the false accusations of rape to make all rape disappear. Apart of this is the increasing desire to decriminalize rape in an effort to make abortion illegal but mainly it is to exert control over women. I used to (jokingly) say decriminalizing rape is the only way GOP men can insure that they can get 'some'. Perhaps joking about the size of mens penises is a better way to go when it comes to rape since women who claim to be raped are met with disbelief by the police when they report the crime.

A better society will be where men keep men in check and not allow men to rape other people, men, women or children, and no one blames the victim, only the perpetrator. What we have to remember rape has nothing to do with sex but everything to do with control and power.

Picture
If a woman wants to work in the porn industry, it should be her business. Is she being exploited more than the men who work in the porn industry? I don't know.

Similarly I have no issue with women working as prostitutes and if a woman chooses to work as a prostitute she should be safe and treated with as much respect as any other worker.

Women need money to live in our society too. I never understood slut shaming as anything other than male jealousy that women can get as much sex as they like and men have to 'beg' for it. It's not right women have any power over men at all?

Slut shaming is a hangover from the days when men owned their wives and children and so when he was supporting them he wanted to make sure the children were his. Also marrying a virgin was to protect a man from being compared to other lovers and so if the woman never achieved satisfaction that was irrelevant.

As I said what is acceptable in the bedroom should be up to the couple involved. What might titillate one night may be boring the next. Some couples may enjoy some kinds of play and others different kinds of play. But for gods sake, don't do something that you don't want to do or will hurt you, just because he asked you to.

I understand romantic notion of the total submission to the person you love and desiring to please them. However I don't understand the one way dynamic of only being able to deal with a fourteen year old partner, where the man knows necessarily what is best for their partner in all situations as in these domestic discipline relationships. Don't let him hit you unless that is what you want to do and you enjoy it.

By all means experiment, if it doesn't work for you stop. But don't then turn around and tell other women they should be hit by their husbands and be totally submissive. Do whatever works for you. It may be that the man wants to be submissive. I don't think there is anything wrong with that either. Whatever works for you and your partner is fine so long as everyone has their eyes open, is adult and wants the situation.

0 Comments

    Author

    I am interested in progressive politics, women's rights, science & art. I believe the only way we'll survive is if we help each other.

    Archives

    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012

    Categories

    All
    Abortion
    Anarchy
    Animals
    Atheism
    Austerity
    Banks
    Bodies
    Caitlyn Jenner
    Charity
    Children
    Communication
    Community
    Conservative Christianity
    Conservatives
    Conspiracy
    Constitution
    Corporation
    Corporations
    Deficit
    Deregulation
    Despotism
    Disenfranchised
    Duggars
    Dylann Roof
    Environment
    Equality
    Facebook
    Feminism
    Food
    Foreclosure
    Gender
    God
    Gop
    Gop Primaries
    Government
    Guns
    Hastert
    Healthcare
    Hierarchy
    History
    Humans
    Independence
    Kindness
    Knowledge
    Law
    Libertarian
    Libertarianism
    Limited Liability
    Loneliness
    Love
    Mating
    Medicare
    Men
    Military Industrial Complex
    Motherhood
    Nature
    Obama
    Obesity
    Occupy
    Orwellian
    Pedophilia
    Politics
    Power
    Powerlessness
    Premium Children
    Prostition
    Punishment
    Rape
    Revolution
    Richard Dawkins
    Sanity
    Sex
    Slut-shaming
    Status Quo
    Stock-market
    Suicide
    Teachers
    Transgender
    TV
    Us Corporations
    Violence
    Vulnerability
    Welfare Queens
    Women
    Women's Work
    World Domination

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.