Why is it ‘love’ and ’sex’ are the ways we use to get our basic human needs met? Perhaps love is really about true our necessary connections with others? We need each other so much, we like to call it by it's own mysterious word 'love'. What does 'love' mean anyway? We do know we need to be needed, we do know we need our lives to be meaningful. pair bonding means we're socially prioritizing this one person over all other people. And society acknowledges that this is your right. And I have said many times that sex is a socially sanctioned method of getting affection. Unfortunately, sex has equated with the long term success of your marriage rather than affection. this is a covert why for men to get sex pretty much on demand. We all need affection, but only parents and their very young children are allowed to be affectionate without a sexual context, and this is a serious problem for society.

And while we might need to satisfy our sexual urges, we don't need to only have sex with another human being.

Anyway this is where I started and then I saw this article from the Guardian. You might agree, women should go home, lock the door and stay safe inside her home alone until some guy decides he needs to break in and use her for sex (rape) and potentially murder her.

Or we could call it what it is: men can be extremely dangerous. Even to other men. Did you notice in there that men are more likely to be murdered by a man? if as man is raped he is more likely to be raped by a man. Men are more likely to beat each other up. Let's face it men and women both have a man problem. Yes let me repeat myself, there are scary women out there but their numbers are vastly fewer than the number of dangerous men. And if you want further proof check out how many women v men are in prison for violent crimes.

And why must a woman need a man to chaperone her? Why can't women go out together? To me it's a case of men opening up opportunities for each other to gain access to that most desirable asset, a woman.

It's easy to decide we are a horrible species if you listen to our complaints about ourselves. Most of us dismiss the rest of the population as being a bunch of idiots or nasty, and while this is possibly true, it is also a matter of perspective.

So I asked google, the font of all wisdom, what men are. It suggested search terms of (among other silly things)  waffles and lonely. When I asked it what women are, it suggested, more curiously, are talking, werewolves, blind to male advances, from Venus, hypergamous (I'd not heard the word before) and finally I found this, women are wonderful effect. I've not heard of this effect before, but compared to men... yeh. Women don't start wars, women don't do most of the violence. I am not saying there aren't women out there who aren't awful people but I don't know how many centuries ago a woman started a war, as opposed to defending her country in a war. And yes some women might be violent in that she slaps a kid or a man but is he genuinely afraid for his life when she slaps him? How many women go on these shooting sprees without a man? Yes I know a very few have but men do most of the killing sprees.

I found the google suggestions curious. Women as seen from a male perspective and men as individuals. It became even more so when I searched on 'older women'.

Anyway I digress.

I guess our introspection is proof we are trying to be better, trying to understand ourselves. And we have improved. It wasn't many centuries ago the government would hold public executions (the last public execution in the US was 1936! not even a century ago) are the people brought picnics to watch people die, although this was the 1600s. Also there were 'witch' killings. Pinker's book 'the better angels of our nature' puts forth this idea, but in my opinion society has gotten better because women have gotten more power. Even children have gotten more power. And society will be at it's best when everyone and their time is treated as equally important.

Men have a habit of basically saying, men aren't bad but humans are not good, which is away of putting the blame on everyone in our society rather than taking any blame for their own behavior. And men like to narrow themselves down to a uniform block. Uniform blocks exclude so much of who we are. But humanity is anything but a uniform block. We are extremely diverse. We are not all bad and we are not all good either, and no one is exclusively either. There are probably many more good men than there are bad, and similarly we shouldn't Disney-fy all children as being pure innocents. There is no doubt there are probably many very awful women too. But I think we need to see the spectrum of who we are rather than seeing a pigeon hole, or a generalization, because that is a lazy thinkers primary method of dismissing the differences - and to some extent I think we need to call ourselves humans rather than 'men' because we are a multitude (not just humans but our environment) and we have a multitude of responses.

At the same time some people like to magnify differences so we can dismiss whole portions of society as not being worthwhile. This is also lazy thinking.

We have distanced ourselves from our violent past, but we should never forget it. We need to marvel at how far we've come as a species. We do amazing things to help each other and other species all the time.

I always hate seeing someone else's misfortune, the car accident where all the spectators need to slow down and ogle, the royal family, and then the selfies with the dead or injured...

But it is a technique constantly used by GOP representatives to whip supporters up into a frenzy. I recently watched 'this place rules' and the talking heads whipped their listeners into such a frenzy that Jan 6 happened, yet the talking heads were no where to be found while their listeners were caught because they were mugging in their cameras in their selfies. And I guess that's why newspapers push such superbly stupid narratives, why so many stupid articles contained Trump in the title and use his face as a thumbnail to the point I refused to click on any articles with his face.

The republican bread and circuses show except there is no way republicans would provide a free meal to their supporters.

Why is it no one cares if republicans don't do the job they were elected to perform? They were elected to represent all of us, yet all they do is try to undermine us and our country by providing an embarrassing spectacle for the rest of the world. But, in general, republican representatives don't seem smart enough to understand what they are meant to be doing.

One day on twitter some republicans supporters were attacking me in their usual frenzied stupid way, and their only point was to upset me, I guess they were hoping for tears, I actually have no idea what they wanted or what the topic was because I turned around and said "Is that all you want? really? Because I want is a better world for all of us'. They left me alone after that.

I have no idea what republicans want beyond 'owning' liberals. I guess it's easy to control a group by telling them to hate other groups whether they are 'liberals' or 'immigrants' or especially 'illegal immigrants'. Then there are 'causes' like being anti LBTG or being an anti-abort or pro-guns or ...

It's really all the talking heads want is to 'own' the left. Like upsetting us is their huge victory. Not so that their kids will be happier or better educated or healthier than them or that infrastructure for our country will improve or their daughters will never be worried about being raped or beaten... or that their sons will be good human beings. That their kids could have a future without fear of climate change or gun violence and their kids could happily determine their own lives rather than live to someone else's pigeonhole for them. That they too could enjoy those freedoms and the security that comes with them. That they have access to quality healthcare. True freedom comes with education and acceptance of our differences.

But that is not what the right want. They want people who are easy to muster. Carefully controlled masses who'll go storm the capital. They don't want people thinking freely, knowing what words like socialism actually means rather than a term to scare a mass of people like it's a bogeyman.

There is something of E Roosevelt's quote: Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events and small minds discuss people.

I think a corollary might be: small minds discuss people, ogle other people's misfortune, are curious about stupid things, are easily herded and vote republican. Republicans are generally anti-education because education gives us the ultimate freedom.

The worst thing that happened this year was the fall of Roe v Wade. Disempowering women or making women of inferior importance to the contents of their uterus is really just another way of controlling the ballot box for republicans.

Making it even more difficult for women to vote is a win for republicans because it generally means less votes for democrats.

Guise is of course, won't someone think of the f*king fetus, when fetuses can't even vote.

I remember being on twitter, before some bernie bro got me unfairly kicked off, I was spruiking against some BS "prolife" battalion of clones and I said I'd probably never have an abortion to someone. But the moron battalion thought that meant I was prolife but no it makes me prochoice because it is my choice not to abort.  I cannot and refuse to make that choice for anyone else because I do not know their circumstances. It should always be up to the woman to decide because only she knows what is right for her.

Meanwhile my news feed is full of stories of women who want to be pregnant with viable fetuses but because laws were made without consultation with real doctors many women are dying because the fetus has died or might even kill her, yet even dead fetuses are more important than a woman's life or the safety of her future pregnanies.

I am not feeling very festive but we all know the sound of cash registers playing jingle bells. Anyway Trump is again gracing news outlets to the joy of newspaper owners. Fortunately things are looking worse and worse for him. Then I saw a photo of mount Rushmore, remember when he wanted his face among those presidents, yet do people remember him selfishly trying to cling to power when so many Americans were dying of COVID19?

I recently watched 'the anarchists' on HBO and it was very funny. Sad but funny. It was the kind of delusion that led people to go nuts for Trump. Why are people so easily led on by conspiracy? In my opinion it's because reality is by consensus. I know people (men) have scoffed when I've said that in the past because they like to believe there is some objective reality, but there is not - well mostly not. Most of what we know and think is contextual. Who I am and how I spell words, which words I chose is based on my context. It's based on years and years of 'this is how things are done'.

And how things are done depends on your social context. It's mostly the story of you. It fills your head with stuff like this is my home and these are the people I belong with. It is also why any kind of memory loss is so daunting for you and those close to you. I digress.

Anyway, the Anarchists don't see how they were cocooned by the influence of their US$$ and their government and how they had no way of protecting themselves from themselves or from others who may have problems with sharing reality. You don't have to be a veteran to have problems with reality, as the guy in 'the anarchists' did, which no doubt the 'anarchists' would blame government for veterans and the wars republicans inflict on us. Curiously once the US military destroyed the Iraqi government, spontaneous stability didn't develop instantaneously. I have asked 'anarchists' why this didn't happen but there was never an answer.

The cause that unites them is taxes. They are greedy and don't want to pay taxes. In my opinion I get way more from government than I get from corporations. For example, a stable economy, even corporations like a stable economy. Keeping a stable economy is difficult because republicans keep trashing the economy whenever they hold the presidency. Lowering taxation for those who can afford it does nothing for the economy but hurt the economy for everyone including the rich. And W trashed the economy hard. Needless to say Trump only wanted the presidency to help himself, whether it was to our money or keeping himself out of prison.

The government also stimulates the economy by offering incentives for various projects. Like the fixes to the road along the Big Sur, streamlining healthcare, paying for research like helping with the cost of developing technology...

The government also keep diplomatic relationships open with other countries to promote trade and for the benefit of the individuals whether it is tourism, business travel or other... 

I loved how the anarchists were all congratulating themselves on how intelligent they all are.

I used to assume if i could understand or do something then anybody could understand or do it also. I never thought I was particularly smart or had superior understanding and I still don't. But then one day quite recently that I was making all kinds of assumptions about others that were unjustified.

I don't know what you do or don't understand, what you chose to understand or what you decided to ignore, because I don't know anything about your education, your childhood or anything about your background. You may have decided to be not be particularly smart about math, for example, or your parents weren't particularly smart and told you it was okay to hate math... but I do think that how smart you is based on a series of decisions you've made over the years about what you were good at. But stuff happens. Perhaps you suffered some degree of brain damage so to some extent it is out of your hands how intelligent you can be.

There are all kinds of ways you can do to improve your intelligence.

1. Always check your assumptions. It can take awhile to even figure out what your assumptions are. Keep hunting, there is so much gold in finding out what your assumptions are. But beware the journey into wonderland like: what is real, who am I... this is the stuff of philosophers..., so be warned!

2. Question your sources. They may be saying something you've heard before, but it doesn't make it true. Why are they saying it, do they benefit from me believing, repeating what they said/say? If someone is saying something different, is it necessarily wrong?

More can be found in Sagan's baloney detection (critical thinking) kit, something we need commonly and now more than ever.

I remember thinking government is the problem, I'd heard it said, and I believed it. I have no idea why I even thought it, but I decided my belief was based on no real research or science and there are a great many people who benefit from dis-empowering government. For example I get much more from govt than I get from business. For example a stable economy, government is currently trying to control corporate greed by slowing inflation.

People will always try to put you in a box. Once they figure out which box you belong in, you are easily dismissed as irrelevant. The only way you can avoid being put into a box is by not using your most powerful weapon, your brain.

Why are women so mean to each other? I know I don't get it. Perhaps they know they can get away with it, after all women have been trained in the social pecking order. And women have been trained to roll over for it, whereas a man might hit you and he knows he'll probably get away with it because women have been trained to roll over after being hit, or whatever.

And sometimes those women we depend on most are the meanest, friends, mothers, sisters, female bosses, office mates... Perhaps that's about bonding, because mothers who are meanest have their offspring bond with them the most strongly, and perhaps that works beyond mother/offspring as what is commonly referred to as the stockholm syndrome?

I remember seeing women say 'I knew Amber Heard was lying', when I asked how they knew there would be silence, no answer... perhaps they answered but their response was buried under a pile of facebook spam. 

The biggest problem with all this blatant misogyny is that some men are using it as an excuse to abuse more women with their toxic masculinity. And now Dior are reusing the fat Johnny Depp ads for their toilet water 'Sauvage' which I can only assume smells like asshole.

Seriously, be nice to women. Giving birth has to be one of the most dangerous things humans do, yet women do it for each and everyone of us.

Okay I get the idea of the holy fetus so pure and innocent and when Bush couldn't find enough fodder for his wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, he used the power of cancelling army contracts, thus heating up the need to end abortion. A mere 13 years later Roe v Wade has been cancelled by SCOTUS judges who got their law degrees from Wheaties packets (although my husband likes to call these degrees from valuable online non accredited universities). 

Once again Republicans have gone that extra mile in double think, the pro-life movement is really about building armies. When the Catholic Church banned abortion it was for Napoleon to build armies.

One time I was debating about abortion with some Bible Belt fundamentalists and their advice was to make sure I didn't get pregnant. This infuriates me because it's not about me. I have enough money to make sure I can have an abortion if I need, I live in a state where I have access to healthcare and abortion... I am okay and if I did get pregnant I would probably have the baby. People have heard me say I'd keep the baby and decided I was pro-life. But that is MY CHOICE. I can also imagine a million scenarios where abortion is a desirable option, for instance: no support, financial or help, no longer wanting to be in a relationship with the father, not merely because of rape, but he moved on to another partner, has another partner, went to jail, abuse, discovering he is addicted to... or some other deal breaker... 

Or there are problems with the pregnancy. My mother desperately wanted 6 children, she miscarried 3 of her pregnancies. I don't know much of what happened during the miscarriage because I was young and she never told me.

But many things can go wrong in a pregnancy and sometimes the miscarriage doesn't come out as normal. Indeed each fetus is a genetic experiment the universe is performing. If the experiment is a success then the fetus is born and grows up to go on to reproduce. This isn't normal, it's actually very lucky. Pregnancy is both extremely dangerous for both the mother and the fetus. If you haven't heard the statistics let me reiterate there are 198 preventable deaths from maternal mortality out of 100,000 births in the US, the highest in the developed world. 

This isn't about me, this is about all of us, or all women of child bearing age and their partners. Another woman was hysterically upset about babies who'd never receive kisses and cuddles because they were aborted. Seriously. To which I rejoined: forcing a baby to be born which the mother doesn't want won't guarantee the baby will get kisses and cuddles.

To join our society it is very much about apprenticeship, we join our society by being apprenticed by those who are meant to care for us from birth. Caring for an infant is very much a 24/7 job, a burden that people (usually the mother) must take on willingly. Some men like being care givers but the bulk of the work usually falls to the mother because of a so-called mothering instinct, something invented by men to make women shoulder the burden. Kids from the foster system are unlikely to be adopted because they'll receive so much abuse and we all know this, otherwise it is nothing but slavery. Or ask about Romania's Ceausescu abortion ban, and freakonomics argued that crime rates went down 18 years after abortion became legal.

Many women seeking abortions just aren't ready to put their lives on hold to be a mother. Whether it is because they aren't ready to be a mother or women who already have a family and don't want to explain to their siblings why they gave their brother/sister up for adoption and really want to do something else with their lives. 

For a better society make sure your children are loved and wanted and parented well and don't force women into motherhood as slavery.

The role of gender is very much a reference to how you see yourself within society. Our society tells us what gender means so having to do all kinds of changes to your body to feel like you can exist within a society probably means society is giving you bizarre messages about gender and while I understand there is a spectrum to gender, there really is only male or female in our society.

We were taught about the notion of transgender in the high school I went to and I remember thinking about it's relevance to me as a female. I am very much not your stereotypical female especially not then. I didn't want to be a mother, I thought the whole idea of having a baby inside of me was weird, I loved science, I was outspoken... was I really a male inside a female body?

In the end I decided I was me inside my own body. And the idea of getting gender reassignment was pretty hardcore; would I be swapping the frying pan for the fire? I didn't know at the time, because I didn't have a strong idea of the benefits of being a man beside the few men I knew were pretty awful, people I definitely did not want to be.

Now I have a fuller understanding of the idea of what it means to be female and male within the context of society. I have found more female role models, people I'd never heard of until I was older, and it helped me a lot knowing about women who went on adventures and talked to people and did things on their own.

If you feel the need to transition from one gender to the other, of course I support your decision, but is it society forcing you to feel uncomfortable within your own skin? Perhaps we need  to change society to broaden gender roles?

I used to work at a research institute that classified a software package called Maya as pornography. They may have been right, there isn't even a GNU version. GNU octave is a clone of Matlab. There are many GNU versions of paid for software. It is very expensive software but you can represent genuine physics within the MAYA environment. What makes this powerful is that we can simulate physics within the system. I thought this might be a great way to simulate insects and other biological systems within in.

Why is this important? When I build my systems on computers I get to test my hypotheses, see if I am right, find errors, fix those errors and prove myself right. This is great for finding flaws with in the model, find problems with  underlying assumptions...

Why I thought of this is I've been reading Edward O Wilson's book, 'letters to a young scientist', and in the prologue he mentions how he got funding for a website for all the insects. So I visited his website and it had been moved to the Smithsonian website. I guess at least it still exists but it's not as comprehensive as he made it out to be. Anyway that's why I thought of the models I proposed at this research institute.

I think this is a worthy attitude for all scientists, whether they are working with biology, physics, chemistry... of course many scientists are simulating their models, notably weather forecasters, and sometimes they get their models wrong, and sometimes they don't.

Even now we are seeing how deeply our planet goes in protecting us from ourselves, in all the damage we've done to the environment. Reading 'The ends of the world' by Peter Branner shows how many layers of protection there is, but most importantly, we have huge brains, we should be able to solve this problem, it's part of us achieving maturity as a civilization. but it's from our environmental models we've learned so much about our environment and as our models evolve as we learn, scientists build better and better models.