Marie PhD
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More on Men

5/30/2015

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As a scientist, I sometimes run experiments. I know I don't run the perfectly controlled experiments with double blind studies and control groups etc,  but I am a curious person who wants to see what happens in different situations.

I used to frequent lambda moo which was the red light district of the old Internet and they had anonymous guest access like many other moos and I would try experimenting with gender and gender roles. What I found when I set my gender to male it was extremely difficult to get attention. Indeed I felt invisible. All the men were competing for the attention of the females. And in the noise it was nearly impossible to get anyone's attention especially not another males, when I pretended to be male.

However, in less popular areas, women were much nicer to me when my gender was male, than they were to me when my gender was female.

However setting my gender to female in populated areas meant I would get a lot of attention from both males and females.

I have often wondered whether men are always struggling for attention, and this causes them to act more extravagantly to get it. This allows us to easily divide the male population into invisible and visible men and thus leads us to never generalize about men. 

Men have to prove themselves to each other when jockeying for positions in their hierarchies. they have to demonstrate their worthiness to other men, especially, and this likely leads to the Peter principle.

I also run a women's group on Facebook and I asked: why do men rape. The question was quickly dismissed and answered: men are seeking control. This worried me because we are often dismissing the question of men and why they are acting antisocial lyrics in the first place and seldom lingering on the population of men as a whole.  We move straight on to the victim and wonder if she was drunk and what she was wearing. the implication is men just can't control themselves and it's not their fault. I personally think this extremely sexist. Most men are quite capable of being able to control themselves.

Boys in college are probably not raping girls for control,  but rather because they feel inadequate at/or not ready for relationships, the usual way to get sex, or can't afford it. This is just a hypothesis of course. I would love to know why boys and men rape.

Some men are dreadful at maintaining relationships leaving women feeling frustrated with their marriages  (and as I have said before this I think is because we spend too much time watching TV where they don't really have relationships). And we don't discuss why some men are violent with their family, and perhaps this is because they don't know how to have relationships without violence - it's what they saw when they were growing up. Men do struggle to get our attention but are ignored in general and perhaps this is why they spend so much time observing, and trying to control women.

This article about a men's rights activist says his main objection is that the female lead got more lines in the trailer! Men do have problems and perhaps it includes the articulation of the problems they don't understand themselves. Also, MRA men are likely invisible men who have a voice purely because the Internet gives them one, it suggests they lack inner dialog with themselves. And while I know it can be difficult to explain what it is that I am thinking and sometimes it may take several attempts to say what it is that I really mean, I think men need to start articulating their feelings and realize that women have feelings too.
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    I am interested in progressive politics, women's rights, science & art. I believe the only way we'll survive is if we help each other.

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