Marie PhD
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Victim Blaming

11/8/2013

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Picture
A guy walks into a clothes shop and tries on a suit that he'd seen someone else try on. He then walks out of the store with the new suit on.

The owner calls the police and charges the guy with shoplifting. They go to court and the guy argues: Someone else tried on the suit before, it was asking to be shoplifted and finally, you let me try it on in the store...

No one would accept these ludicrous arguments as an excuse for shoplifting but all these arguments seem to work in rape cases.

If she's not a virgin, her experience has left her a wanton nymphomaniac. We all know that's not true. Most of the time women aren't thinking of sex, they're thinking of what they'll cook for dinner and whether they left the fridge door open. They aren't asking for it.

Similarly, women can be wearing anything and men will ask them for sex. Seriously, friends of mine have told me they'd be walking home from work in their McDonalds uniforms and get propositioned for sex. These are women who are tired from working all day and just want to shower.

If a girl has said yes before or lets you go so far, it doesn't give you permission to necessarily go all the way.

If she's drunk or otherwise drugged it also doesn't give you permission to use her for anything either. She is not to blame, it is the rapist who is to blame. Men or children would never be accused of 'asking' for it if they were raped.

As I have previously written, in ancient Rome, they considered it abhorrent that men couldn't control themselves. They wanted to distinguish themselves from animals and rape carried the death penalty. Perhaps this is why their empire flourished, because men had to control themselves.

Most men know rape is unacceptable. Most men respect women and themselves enough not force themselves upon women. If you find yourself saying she was asking for it, consider whether you might actually be a rapist yourself.

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    I am interested in progressive politics, women's rights, science & art. I believe the only way we'll survive is if we help each other.

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