After the publication of my blog entry Touch, I received some feedback saying "I am not sure I agree with that a male's need to touch gets somehow mixed up in aggression"
My response to this was: There are whole areas of sexual experience out there that are based exactly on that. I remember how shocked I was finding out how erotic some people consider being spanked is. Also the whole S&M/B&D/Dom&Sub thing. At least the people who 'enjoy' this are channeling their desires in a healthy consensual adult fashion, rather than those who might be in denial about their interest in hurting others non-consensually.
Further: " Sexual assault is a show of aggression and does not involve caressing or embracing. "
Sexual assault may involve caressing and embracing, I don't know, I've not witnessed every single assault (or any, for that matter), so it's impossible to rule out that it doesn't happen and even if it does involve caressing and embracing affectionately, it is still rape if it is non-consensual.
This is the problem I think with sexual assault, we don't know what is going on inside the mind of the rapist and I really wish there was research done on trying to find out.
I do think that we need women to be able to say 'yes' if they are asked if they would like sex, but the problem is that many women have been conditioned into thinking saying 'yes' means they are a slut and that means they are 'bad' because of it. But there is nothing wrong with women enjoying or wanting sex or even asking for sex.
We are physical beings who want to be touched and to touch, to feel another's body close which may be conflated with forcing another person to have sex without their consent.
For males, sex is cool, it is something to be proud of, to boast about, but needing touch or the warmth of another human may make males feel weak and vulnerable, something most men would prefer not to be, especially when they are young. Young males may feel ill equipped or not ready emotionally to have a relationship with a woman, the usual way to get consensual sex.
My response to this was: There are whole areas of sexual experience out there that are based exactly on that. I remember how shocked I was finding out how erotic some people consider being spanked is. Also the whole S&M/B&D/Dom&Sub thing. At least the people who 'enjoy' this are channeling their desires in a healthy consensual adult fashion, rather than those who might be in denial about their interest in hurting others non-consensually.
Further: " Sexual assault is a show of aggression and does not involve caressing or embracing. "
Sexual assault may involve caressing and embracing, I don't know, I've not witnessed every single assault (or any, for that matter), so it's impossible to rule out that it doesn't happen and even if it does involve caressing and embracing affectionately, it is still rape if it is non-consensual.
This is the problem I think with sexual assault, we don't know what is going on inside the mind of the rapist and I really wish there was research done on trying to find out.
I do think that we need women to be able to say 'yes' if they are asked if they would like sex, but the problem is that many women have been conditioned into thinking saying 'yes' means they are a slut and that means they are 'bad' because of it. But there is nothing wrong with women enjoying or wanting sex or even asking for sex.
We are physical beings who want to be touched and to touch, to feel another's body close which may be conflated with forcing another person to have sex without their consent.
For males, sex is cool, it is something to be proud of, to boast about, but needing touch or the warmth of another human may make males feel weak and vulnerable, something most men would prefer not to be, especially when they are young. Young males may feel ill equipped or not ready emotionally to have a relationship with a woman, the usual way to get consensual sex.
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