Marie PhD
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Nice Guys

2/19/2013

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On the 02/14/2013 I wrote an entry entitled 'How big are you' where I described the events of a trending topic #TellAFeministThankYou where I was telling individual men trolling that they had small penises. One of the men, obviously a young-mid teenage boy took exception to my questioning the size of his penis and came after me.

One of the things he said was he supported womens equality, and then when I easily fielded that one he turned around and accused me of having my period to which I replied, and I thought you supported womens equality.

I think this is the general problem, men do support women's equality and rights when they think about it and they mean to but not really and that is because I think its beyond their grasp, not because they are dumb, but because its part of their genetics. Men, for millenia, have organized in groups of males to go hunting and then come back to their wives/partners. So, today, men figure out who the boss is and ignore the rest. Who the boss is, is primarily their wife/partner and their male superiors/peers/underlings. In general, other women don't count, unless they are close kin like sisters, daughters and mothers.

This means men tend to be utterly oblivious to the world around them. One time I was driving on a road only wide enough for one car but it had wide shoulders and a man was coming at me from the other direction. He would have run me of the road if I hadn't gotten completely off the road - he just stared at me looking terrified I wouldn't get over. Of course I moved to the side so his car could remain on the asphalt. Was it worth crashing my car into his, no of course not, but really why couldn't we both get over a little so we could both continue to seemlessly share the road?

This is just one example of men not being able to compromise and it is again women having to make way for men. Each time we have to bite back our anger of having to give way to men brings us closer to the day we will smash our  cars into an on-coming male. There is only so much anger of having to make way, give way, put up with, ignore, put ourselves lower than men that we can bear. Most of it is because we just seem to be invisible to men, unless they are in the mood for some lovin'.

In my earlier post today, Asking for it, I described my life of dealing with men's wolf-whistles, hips thrust forward, the endless advances of men thinking we just want to have sex all the time. Guys, yes you are nice guys, but how do us women know you are one of the nice guys? Isn't the serial killer the last guy you'd expect?

So when men want sex, we are afraid of them, and when they don't want sex we are invisible to them. Interestingly the guys trolling #TellAFeministThankYou were telling women to go make them a sandwich, because women are only really useful at doing stuff men can't be bothered doing for themselves. Women are nothing other than servants there to please them by looking beautiful and being available for sex or to be laughed at if they are considered too ugly or to be ignored in general.

Strangely when I am driving with my husband I don't see him feel the same anger. When he is cut off he may moan about it. I wonder if he's just oblivious to it? But it doesn't build up like it builds up for me, another difference between humans or genders, I don't know. My husband informed me, he knows it'll be his turn next time and it all evens out in the end for him.

Women have the certainty it'll never be their turn next and the only time it'll be our turn is if we trample on other women.

Recently a friend jumped into the middle of a woman who'd had enough. She knows there are nice guys out there, she knew she was generalizing, but she'd a gutful of men attacking her. She didn't need to be told about nice guys.

The thing is women do like men and we would like to be able to figure out which are the good men easily. The problem is men have power over us women. They are stronger and men also form a far more cohesive group, defending each other as no doubt my other friend did when he jumped into the mess. I suspect she thought he joined in to defend his mate/bro/friend... it seems he didn't but she didn't know that. If I was her I wouldn't want to deal with it anymore and just block and walk away. Things had escalated probably enough for her and she no doubt felt surrounded - I would have. She probably didn't intend to block anyone she might think of as friends. I don't know, I am speculating.

Interestingly, the thing most libertarians hate about govt is that govt has power over them and they have little power to influence it back - if men were in the same position women were in, men would probably hate men too, even the nice guys.
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    I am interested in progressive politics, women's rights, science & art. I believe the only way we'll survive is if we help each other.

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