Motherhood in our society has to be one of the most difficult tasks on the planet. When the woman is newly a mother she is left at home alone with a baby she is meant to love when she may or may not have 'fallen in love' with her baby. If she had been working full time up til or near birth then she also has the burden of learning to deal with loneliness too. Then there is dealing with the cleaning, the diapers, feeding, burping, and the crying,... the wondering what this cry means... Indeed, the birth of a first child makes you miserable.
Then if she has a husband, juggling the marriage with a baby that cries all night and the birth of a first baby is miserable for the father as well.
It's hard to be at variance with society when you are told that babies are blessings, gifts from God, and bundles of joy ... Society deifies the innocence of babies - most often and especially by women who don't have to take care of them themselves. And sure sometime in the future parents might look back on the years following the birth of their first child positively, but in the meantime they have to endure sleeplessness, feedings and diapers.
Any woman who takes on this role voluntarily deserves a medal, I am not sure what the word is for a woman forced into being a mother is - but so many women have been forced into being mothers because it was pretty much the only 'high status' role available to women. I have no idea how difficult it might have been for women to avoid marriage and motherhood in centuries gone by but I assume they mostly joined convents.
I think a lot of misogyny begins with our mothers, mothers who force their daughters to have babies, rather than abortions, so they can join the "christian club". The mothers who picket Planned Parenthood because the other women at their church are doing it too. Like Sarah Palin who so publicly forced her daughter to have a baby. In this article, the woman writes of mother's influence on women to have abortions, the same is true for women who do not have abortions.
It is mothers who take father's sides over daughters when fathers have incestuous relationships with their daughter, not always, but often.
This is internalized misogyny for women - or the equivalent of what Malcolm X called the house slave.
It is mothers who do the genital mutilation in societies where it happens. It is mothers and grand-mothers who brainwash their daughters into believing that genital mutilation is a good thing so their daughters will belong with her husband's family. "Female circumcision is part of demarcating insider and outsider status." There is only one option in these societies - to be a mother and wife.
I have heard a similar argument for western women. If you are a mother, you are part of the group. Although I think that depends on who you socialize with. There is certainly a lot of pressure to reproduce, after I married, my husband and I were asked many times by many people when/whether we'd be having kids.
A lot of misogyny starts with women. A number of these things are said by women to their daughters and other women. And most of it arises from being in and out of the group. Mothers fearing they won't be in the same group as their daughters, jealous that their daughters will have opportunities they didn't have. Not all mothers are like this, but I think it's more that the women who were forced into motherhood because they felt they had few other meaningful choices when they were young.
This is why I think it is vitally important that we support all women with whatever choices they make. When any woman succeeds, then it makes it easier for more women to succeed and make other choices.
Many women complain their mothers systematically abuse them and their sisters but act completely normal with men and the men in their household. I remember one woman telling me this story about how she was violently raped and she went home to her mother who demanded she report it to the police. When she refused her mother called her 'a slut'. The woman became an ardent MRA and supporter. So the circle of oppression continues. Women oppressing women, probably to prove they are good 'women' they know their place, they know men are superior, like cats leaving dead mice at their owners doors.
Then if she has a husband, juggling the marriage with a baby that cries all night and the birth of a first baby is miserable for the father as well.
It's hard to be at variance with society when you are told that babies are blessings, gifts from God, and bundles of joy ... Society deifies the innocence of babies - most often and especially by women who don't have to take care of them themselves. And sure sometime in the future parents might look back on the years following the birth of their first child positively, but in the meantime they have to endure sleeplessness, feedings and diapers.
Any woman who takes on this role voluntarily deserves a medal, I am not sure what the word is for a woman forced into being a mother is - but so many women have been forced into being mothers because it was pretty much the only 'high status' role available to women. I have no idea how difficult it might have been for women to avoid marriage and motherhood in centuries gone by but I assume they mostly joined convents.
I think a lot of misogyny begins with our mothers, mothers who force their daughters to have babies, rather than abortions, so they can join the "christian club". The mothers who picket Planned Parenthood because the other women at their church are doing it too. Like Sarah Palin who so publicly forced her daughter to have a baby. In this article, the woman writes of mother's influence on women to have abortions, the same is true for women who do not have abortions.
It is mothers who take father's sides over daughters when fathers have incestuous relationships with their daughter, not always, but often.
This is internalized misogyny for women - or the equivalent of what Malcolm X called the house slave.
It is mothers who do the genital mutilation in societies where it happens. It is mothers and grand-mothers who brainwash their daughters into believing that genital mutilation is a good thing so their daughters will belong with her husband's family. "Female circumcision is part of demarcating insider and outsider status." There is only one option in these societies - to be a mother and wife.
I have heard a similar argument for western women. If you are a mother, you are part of the group. Although I think that depends on who you socialize with. There is certainly a lot of pressure to reproduce, after I married, my husband and I were asked many times by many people when/whether we'd be having kids.
A lot of misogyny starts with women. A number of these things are said by women to their daughters and other women. And most of it arises from being in and out of the group. Mothers fearing they won't be in the same group as their daughters, jealous that their daughters will have opportunities they didn't have. Not all mothers are like this, but I think it's more that the women who were forced into motherhood because they felt they had few other meaningful choices when they were young.
This is why I think it is vitally important that we support all women with whatever choices they make. When any woman succeeds, then it makes it easier for more women to succeed and make other choices.
Many women complain their mothers systematically abuse them and their sisters but act completely normal with men and the men in their household. I remember one woman telling me this story about how she was violently raped and she went home to her mother who demanded she report it to the police. When she refused her mother called her 'a slut'. The woman became an ardent MRA and supporter. So the circle of oppression continues. Women oppressing women, probably to prove they are good 'women' they know their place, they know men are superior, like cats leaving dead mice at their owners doors.
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