I think we underestimate the importance of touching so much so that we often disguise it as something else, especially for men. I've said many times, it's okay to have sex as a man, but there is no way a man could ever *need* affection. Men like to think of themselves as islands with no need for anything... especially not *affection*. Indeed, there is something *creepy* about needing to touch and/or be touched. So it's okay to tickle little kids (but not touch them because that sounds creepy), it's okay to be violent perhaps (if you're a man), but it's not okay to need affection, when in reality, there is nothing all of us need more.
So many of our problems could be solved if we just realized we need to touch and be touched - we are mammals - we were in-utero for 9 months before we were born. If men accepted they need to touch and to be touched, perhaps they would stop their need for violence, war, rape... if we could call our needs what they are, needs, perhaps men could realize they are not entitled to sex. If men could realize no one is asking for it.
Sex therapists and others tell women they should give their husbands sex, which in my opinion is the equivalent of saying men are entitled to sex, and we are told constantly that sex is a metric for how well a marriage is doing, nevertheless google tells us sexless marriages are a thing and not necessarily a sign the marriage is in trouble. If a marriage is based on the realization that affection is fundamental rather than sex, then it would remove so many problems for women, because women carry most of the burden for birth control even in marriage, which despite the variety of birth control methods available are often invasive and dangerous for women. Sex is only necessary for procreation and if we feel the urge... it can be satisfied in so many ways other than by having (often painful for women) sex.
But would men feel manly if all they get is a cuddle and a kiss? Perhaps we should first ask why does a man need to feel manly? When life has been harsh? I think perhaps if the mans needs are actually met he'd actually feel happier. If his partner puts her (or his) arms about him he might actually feel more comforted than to disguise his feelings with pretend machismo.
So many of our problems could be solved if we just realized we need to touch and be touched - we are mammals - we were in-utero for 9 months before we were born. If men accepted they need to touch and to be touched, perhaps they would stop their need for violence, war, rape... if we could call our needs what they are, needs, perhaps men could realize they are not entitled to sex. If men could realize no one is asking for it.
Sex therapists and others tell women they should give their husbands sex, which in my opinion is the equivalent of saying men are entitled to sex, and we are told constantly that sex is a metric for how well a marriage is doing, nevertheless google tells us sexless marriages are a thing and not necessarily a sign the marriage is in trouble. If a marriage is based on the realization that affection is fundamental rather than sex, then it would remove so many problems for women, because women carry most of the burden for birth control even in marriage, which despite the variety of birth control methods available are often invasive and dangerous for women. Sex is only necessary for procreation and if we feel the urge... it can be satisfied in so many ways other than by having (often painful for women) sex.
But would men feel manly if all they get is a cuddle and a kiss? Perhaps we should first ask why does a man need to feel manly? When life has been harsh? I think perhaps if the mans needs are actually met he'd actually feel happier. If his partner puts her (or his) arms about him he might actually feel more comforted than to disguise his feelings with pretend machismo.
RSS Feed
