Marie PhD
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Lorena Bobbitt, violence and keeping it "real"

2/3/2019

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 I hate this meme - yeah i know it's meant to be funny, and that's how people who use it think it's meant to be see - as merely funny - but it's not.

You see women are policed for being too fat/thin, good mothers, whether they are too slutty, whether she is/was asking for it... now this meme is telling us we have to police women to keep it 'real' too.  "real" as opposed to 'snooty' which i guess we have to figure out whether the woman looks too rich and it's only really men who are allowed to be rich.

Some people have tried to pass it off as 'people' but it explicitly states women and grocery store? Well that is a job women do, buy the groceries. But there are men who do go grocery shopping and one man who I talked to about sharing this said "men do keep it real in the grocery store".. seriously, this guy has polled every man who goes shopping?

Aren't we over policing women yet?

My other real problem is - whether we deem a woman is too snooty at a store is trivial to the real shit that is going on in the world - men still aren't being policed for violent behavior, and as soon as I said that - you thought - not all men are violent.

The other night I was watching the Prime documentary on Lorena Bobbitt. I wasn't in the US at the time this happened, I only heard about it through the filter of press in which ever country I was in at the time and it was all treated as a horrible joke - where women in the US were out of control running around willy-nilly chopping men's penises off like it was the new fashion or something - and the description of the search for the missing member was astonishing - the trouble they went to! Once women's clits are chopped off in countries they still do that in, is there a search? - I don't think so and no one would consider reattaching a clit anyway.

I digress.

The brutality with which Lorena had been treated by her husband was completely ignored by the press despite the televised case. The story is still thought of as "she chopped his penis off because he was supposedly cheating". From what I can gather from the documentary Lorena would have been happy if he'd been cheating.

The documentary did touch briefly on John's upbringing - and it was NOT pretty. I think John lost both parents at an early age was no doubt the product of pedophilia, violence and who knows how much verbal and emotional abuse.

Nevertheless, having violence inflicted upon you, physical, emotional, sexual, is no excuse to do it to other people. It possibly is the only option for people who have known no other life, perhaps, and don't know it is possible to deal with situations in other ways, but you do NOT have to perpetuate violence in any of it's forms. It is a choice.

Female journalists wanted to write articles about domestic violence but their male editors shut them down (rich white men own and operate pretty much everything), according to the documentary, saying, "nobody wants to hear about that stuff". But the mainstream media is how we learn so much about our society.

Boys and men are the primary recipient of violence, and although some women may be violent, most of the violence males experience is at the hands of other men. Males are nearly four times more likely to be murdered than females, males are nearly 10x more likely to murder than females. It should be noted about half of all murders are never solved. But when it comes to domestic violence, men are about 5x more likely to kill their wives than a woman is likely to kill her husband.

I did see a static once showing that males are 3x more likely than a female to be murdered by male, but it was a while back and I can't find the reference now. Also most of the violence, sexual and physical males experience is at the hands of other males.

We need to speak about this, rather than worry whether a woman is too snooty, ffs. We worry about women so much because, i think more than anything, we're afraid of men, men are afraid of men.

This is keeping it really real: men have a man problem.

Interestingly John Bobbitt got off for raping his wife, yet Lorena was sentenced - even though she went to a psychiatric facility, which I think she thought was useful for her. I think this shows a bias in the justice system, and that it's about maintaining the social order, so the justice system is biased towards white men. And if you want to know how biased society and our justice system is, have a look at Gary Southern. I bet you are asking yourself who is Gary Southern. In my opinion this guy has done much worse than any woman has ever done, yet he is not a household name.

The problem is that men have created a hierarchy men which they live under and force the rest of us to live in as well, because might makes right and that's how you ascend the hierarchy.

1 Comment
elisa fuchs
2/21/2019 08:26:43 am

Of course you are absolutely correct...the double standard is ubiquitous...we both have Experienced it personally...but we are nowhere near where we want to be. Maybe there ERA might have helped...but most young women never have heard of it...regards...ME

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    I am interested in progressive politics, women's rights, science & art. I believe the only way we'll survive is if we help each other.

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