So it's prime day and I received an email saying there's a special edition of 'a mighty girl' with pictures of microscopes, action figures of - I suppose it looks like Hermione Granger, who in my husband's opinion really didn't need Harry or the red haired one because she could do everything by herself - except, you know..., for plot. Still that would have meant that Hermione was pretty lonely - and that is a serious problem - loneliness.
Yes I know a lot of people don't have a problem being alone for periods of time but loneliness means never having someone to talk to ever, or probably more precisely, for perhaps months - or even years on end.
Perhaps you can press someone into service, pay a psychologist to talk to you, a fortune teller, a prostitute - if you're a man... In Japan they solved this problem with rent-a-friend services. But are we ready for rent-a-friends in the west?
Yes, obviously, because we have plenty of fortune tellers, psychologists and prostitutes, which are all there for other reasons obviously and their excuse for being there is because we have a problem admitting to ourselves, that we are lonely. I guess the real reason for the coyness is it feels somewhat shameful to admit to ourselves that we have needs and this makes us vulnerable.
And loneliness is a problem because we are extremely social. We're so social that I think we're really addicted to TV because there are people there that don't/can't hurt us. Sure we can't participate in conversations with them - tell them they are wrong, tell them how much we are fascinated by their perfectly scripted lives... but they can't ask us how we are doing, what our day was like, how we feel.
The embargo on admitting loneliness seems based on the desire to appear impervious to emotional pain or neediness. Is there anything more shameful than being vulnerable in someway? It opens us up to ridicule, it lowers our social ranking if we have needs that in someway aren't being met by our day to day life.
The most popular people get all the attention they need by being surrounded by adoring fans. The rich too. But I also think that is a fantasy because plenty of film and TV stars suicide at all points of their career even at what might appear to be it's pinnacle. My guess is that they were lonely for genuine contact with someone they considered an equal.
For most people that equal is their partner. If you don't have a partner, the world is a very lonely place. Because it is that partner that we are supposed to get our quality communication from, the person who is meant to be most kind and honest with us, most sensitive to our needs, who won't ridicule us for having toilet paper stuck on our shoe but will let us know kindly and discretely so as not to further embarrass us. The person who gives us all the affection we need, whether it is straight up affection, a hug, a kiss - or sex. And in my opinion it doesn't have to be sex - it can be a hug or a kiss.
I think a problem with our society is that sex is overrated. Do we need affection, yes. We are primates after all, our ancestor apes spend half their days grooming each other. They didn't spend half their days having sex though. Do people sometimes have sexual urges? Yes, but that's something they can deal with themselves. (I am not going to tell you what to do in the bedroom - I don't care so long as you are adults engaging in consensual acts where no one is being permanently harmed or hurt.)
With all the taboos on sex, it has become the only valid way men can receive affection - it leads to bragging rights as to how much males are 'getting' and results in all manner of evil - whether it is unwanted pregnancies or rape and even death. Males can't admit to needing to touch or being touched - so parents I recommend you get your kids pets they can pet as much as they like.
The other side of the taboo is women have to play this game of being virginal and "pure" yet sexy. This is women go nuts trying to pretend they are young because young girls are supposed to be virginal and "pure" and sexy because they are at their most fertile... so women become infantile by removing their body hair, get plastic surgery, and do all kinds of crazy things in the name of 'beauty' aka making themselves small, in need of protection. in other words, generic, that their only assets are their virginity (they didn't 'put out') their DNA (their appearance) and the intelligence to spend time playing this game of subterfuge. Beyond that women are supposed to tease men into chasing them and refuse to 'put out' to make the other half of this game of making sex taboo. A number of serial murderers have admitted to killing women because they didn't consider the women pure/perfect enough)
Well I digressed some and then some more. My point about mighty girl - is how much extra does it cost your parents so their daughter can be mighty? The image above is a screen capture of a wonder woman and batman cup - both on Amazon today and you'll note that wonder woman will cost over $7 more than being batman (that's over 50% more). I asked on the listing why this was so and I was told that their daughter loved it. I'd love to have one too but I can't justify paying $7 more for a silly cup. The problem is, it can be very expensive to be a woman.
I do have issues with girls dressing up as boys to be mighty though. Hollywood's idea of a female friendly movie is substituting the male lead with a female lead, so wonder woman is really just a guy with more flesh showing - perhaps? The reality of female friendly are movies like Hot pursuit, Wild, Bad Moms, the Heat, and TV like Sharp objects and Little Big Lies (this show genuinely terrifies me)...
Yes I know a lot of people don't have a problem being alone for periods of time but loneliness means never having someone to talk to ever, or probably more precisely, for perhaps months - or even years on end.
Perhaps you can press someone into service, pay a psychologist to talk to you, a fortune teller, a prostitute - if you're a man... In Japan they solved this problem with rent-a-friend services. But are we ready for rent-a-friends in the west?
Yes, obviously, because we have plenty of fortune tellers, psychologists and prostitutes, which are all there for other reasons obviously and their excuse for being there is because we have a problem admitting to ourselves, that we are lonely. I guess the real reason for the coyness is it feels somewhat shameful to admit to ourselves that we have needs and this makes us vulnerable.
And loneliness is a problem because we are extremely social. We're so social that I think we're really addicted to TV because there are people there that don't/can't hurt us. Sure we can't participate in conversations with them - tell them they are wrong, tell them how much we are fascinated by their perfectly scripted lives... but they can't ask us how we are doing, what our day was like, how we feel.
The embargo on admitting loneliness seems based on the desire to appear impervious to emotional pain or neediness. Is there anything more shameful than being vulnerable in someway? It opens us up to ridicule, it lowers our social ranking if we have needs that in someway aren't being met by our day to day life.
The most popular people get all the attention they need by being surrounded by adoring fans. The rich too. But I also think that is a fantasy because plenty of film and TV stars suicide at all points of their career even at what might appear to be it's pinnacle. My guess is that they were lonely for genuine contact with someone they considered an equal.
For most people that equal is their partner. If you don't have a partner, the world is a very lonely place. Because it is that partner that we are supposed to get our quality communication from, the person who is meant to be most kind and honest with us, most sensitive to our needs, who won't ridicule us for having toilet paper stuck on our shoe but will let us know kindly and discretely so as not to further embarrass us. The person who gives us all the affection we need, whether it is straight up affection, a hug, a kiss - or sex. And in my opinion it doesn't have to be sex - it can be a hug or a kiss.
I think a problem with our society is that sex is overrated. Do we need affection, yes. We are primates after all, our ancestor apes spend half their days grooming each other. They didn't spend half their days having sex though. Do people sometimes have sexual urges? Yes, but that's something they can deal with themselves. (I am not going to tell you what to do in the bedroom - I don't care so long as you are adults engaging in consensual acts where no one is being permanently harmed or hurt.)
With all the taboos on sex, it has become the only valid way men can receive affection - it leads to bragging rights as to how much males are 'getting' and results in all manner of evil - whether it is unwanted pregnancies or rape and even death. Males can't admit to needing to touch or being touched - so parents I recommend you get your kids pets they can pet as much as they like.
The other side of the taboo is women have to play this game of being virginal and "pure" yet sexy. This is women go nuts trying to pretend they are young because young girls are supposed to be virginal and "pure" and sexy because they are at their most fertile... so women become infantile by removing their body hair, get plastic surgery, and do all kinds of crazy things in the name of 'beauty' aka making themselves small, in need of protection. in other words, generic, that their only assets are their virginity (they didn't 'put out') their DNA (their appearance) and the intelligence to spend time playing this game of subterfuge. Beyond that women are supposed to tease men into chasing them and refuse to 'put out' to make the other half of this game of making sex taboo. A number of serial murderers have admitted to killing women because they didn't consider the women pure/perfect enough)
Well I digressed some and then some more. My point about mighty girl - is how much extra does it cost your parents so their daughter can be mighty? The image above is a screen capture of a wonder woman and batman cup - both on Amazon today and you'll note that wonder woman will cost over $7 more than being batman (that's over 50% more). I asked on the listing why this was so and I was told that their daughter loved it. I'd love to have one too but I can't justify paying $7 more for a silly cup. The problem is, it can be very expensive to be a woman.
I do have issues with girls dressing up as boys to be mighty though. Hollywood's idea of a female friendly movie is substituting the male lead with a female lead, so wonder woman is really just a guy with more flesh showing - perhaps? The reality of female friendly are movies like Hot pursuit, Wild, Bad Moms, the Heat, and TV like Sharp objects and Little Big Lies (this show genuinely terrifies me)...
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