
Sure, none of us are perfect. We all have things we could do better, think more clearly about, we all make mistakes, we all have faults, even and probably especially the critics.
Its often hard to hold back on a bout of criticism. But when criticizing our best friends we really need to sugarcoat our criticisms as much as possible. We usually hold back on our criticisms of acquaintances if only to be polite, and for people we don't care about on the internet, we usually shower them with criticism, like this girl who made a lame joke got told to suicide. She handled it well.
The i-ching warns that constant criticism and punishment will make people into fools especially when the punishment is public. This could also be a sign that the relationship is abusive. It lowers people's confidence.
I once scolded a friend publicly and I was deeply ashamed of myself. I knew when I did it I shouldn't have and wished there was some way I could undo it. It took my friend sometime to forgive me understandably.
Yes I love advice, yes I love being told when I am doing something wrong that I am unaware of. Yes I love pointers. Too many times I've done stuff I'd wished people and had said, have you thought about this instead? Here's an idea, try this? What about this instead? I love this!!!! I mean so many times I've regretted (not) doing something (else) and wished people had butt in on my side and offered suggestions at the time. Perspective is invaluable and hindsight is often useless only as a guide to the future.
The world is full of people who do not wish us well and who are out to hurt us. If you are prepared to criticize people you like and hate equally then what is the difference between the people you like and hate?
If you were never able to speak to someone again for whatever reason, what would you want the last thing you said to that person to be? How will they remember you? Will it be a fight? Will it be words of gratitude? Will it be encouragement?
Too often people slip out of our lives. Years later we wonder where they are, what they are doing, how they are. Sometimes you get a phone call telling us they have died, sometimes you just don't know how to contact them anymore, other times you hear of people who cross the street when they see people they haven't seen in years, I know I have. So I try to be positive.
So be kind, let people you love know that you love them, wish them well, wish them warm, wish them happiness.