Marie PhD
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Feminism

1/18/2013

2 Comments

 
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For the longest while 'feminism' was one of those tragic words and if you described yourself as such it was like saying "I'm a spinster" a word that says un-marriageable because that's all us girls want, is to be married.

Everyone wants intimacy and that's why we women want to get married. We want tenderness, someone who apparently wants to be dedicated to making us women happy, and that's what is the worst thing about not being married, we women have to take care of ourselves.

Not so bad really, if we can and we are allowed too.

Feminist came pre-loaded with hairy legs and armpits, unsexy footwear and over-alls, dowdy and unglamourous. At university, the women's department was populated exclusively by women who wore dull clothes often saying things that frankly sounded illogical and psycho. I tried reading the Germaine Greer and Simone de Beauvoir.

And for the longest time I saw no need for feminism - I was the queen of the department where I worked or when I was a student. Men treated me very well. It didn't occur to me to wonder why there were no female managers in engineering, I just assumed that none of us had made the grade and the ratio of 200 men to about 3 women was nothing to worry about.

Then one day I was asked by a female academic, why women don't become alchemists. I was shocked. Wasn't the very question kinda sexist? Why should I know, just because I am a woman, why should I have to be an expert on what women choose to do and don't do. The question annoyed me and I would rail at my friends at the sexism of the question.

It wasn't until the 2008 primaries that I realized feminism is just as relevant today as it ever was.

I’ve cured the problem of ‘feminism’ having a dirty name by tagging myself as ‘a feminist who loves men’. This has men drooling all over the internet supporting my rights to equality. Feminism should never be about whether we shave our armpits or legs or stop wearing nice shoes or clothes we like… the best way to advance our rights is *with* men's support. Feminism should not be about what you wear. I don't care what women choose to wear so long as they choose to wear it rather than have the choice forced upon them by society.

At the same time I don’t want to give the impression we are going to become ‘easy’ just because we love men. But I find its worth getting them onside before telling them: no we have sex only when and if I agree.





2 Comments
Patricia Kobelin link
8/3/2013 11:30:56 pm

I also consider myself a feminist, but not in the sense that women are superior, but equal. I love, cherish, adore, (sometimes perplexed by) men. Each of us is superior/inferior in specific talents, but I never believed that those fields of talent should be assigned by gender. Some men are capricious with finances and cannot handle a budget. Some women aren't good at electronics or mechanics. Each should handle what they excel at.
I stepped straight out of high school into a civil engineering position...a field dominated by males back in the early 70's when EEO kicked in. I was challenged to become better than the best man they had, and I did. Challenge people to do their best with incentives and they will step up. Downgrade people, beat them into dirt and performance becomes resented drudgery. This is what BigCorp promotes. Lower incentives equals minimum effort equals lowered expectations, equals find-someone-to-do-it-cheaper, equals grudges.
Feminism should be about supporting each other to make things better for all women. Males often pit us against each other. (Read the book "The Game" - it's basically a how-to manual on knocking beautiful (or any) woman off-balance with comments that feed on existing, or create, insecurities. Good to recognize those tactics when you see them...)
I have a good man who makes me proud of myself; encouraging and supportive. Went through several that left me insecure in myself. I still have issues with not feeling good enough but I'm working on it.

Reply
Marie PhD
8/4/2013 07:10:38 am

Thanks Patricia for your reply. I will check out that book. I've written a lot about women's role in society, I hope you get to read more of my blog - I'd really value your opinion.

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    I am interested in progressive politics, women's rights, science & art. I believe the only way we'll survive is if we help each other.

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